We all make mistakes. I’ll be the first to say that I mess up all the time.
And honestly? I find it comforting that none of us are perfect. If we were, life would be a whole lot more stressful than it already is.
We’ve all been taught the basics of apologizing since we were kids. Sometimes it’s easy to admit you’re wrong; other times, it feels impossible. And let’s be honest, some people struggle to admit fault even when the evidence is staring them in the face. I see it all the time at work.
But even when someone refuses to confess, there’s something interesting happening beneath the surface: they know you see through the mask. Psychologically, they’re aware that their defense is collapsing, so they start grasping for any argument that will protect their pride.
That’s when the fallacies start rolling in:
- Ad hominem – attacking the person instead of the issue
- Straw man – twisting the accusation into something else
- Red herring – changing the subject
- Appeal to ignorance – “It must be true because you can’t prove it’s false!”
- Tu quoque – “Well YOU did this!”
People will jump through hoops to avoid taking responsibility.
But Scripture teaches us something different. Something freeing:
“9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9 (ESV)
Confession is painful, but it’s also the only path to forgiveness.
And forgiveness is the only path to healing.
The Harder Side of the Equation: Forgiving Others
Admitting our own wrongs is one thing.
Forgiving someone who wronged us?
That’s something else entirely.
As kids, we were told, “Say sorry” and “Forgive them immediately.”
Simple. Clean. Quick.
But real forgiveness is not that simple, especially when the wound runs deep.
Last year, I preached a sermon titled “A Second Chance.”
In it, I talked about the Greek word for forgiveness: ἀφίημι (aphiēmi) —
to let go, abandon, cancel a debt.
The book of Philemon captures this beautifully.
Philemon was wronged by a slave named Onesimus, who ran away.
Somewhere along the journey, Onesimus met Paul and became a believer.
And Paul writes to Philemon saying:
“18 If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.”
Philemon 18 (ESV)
Paul was willing to pay the debt of a man who wasn’t even his closest friend, because Onesimus was now a brother in Christ.
That sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Because Jesus paid the debt of our sins; a debt He never owed.
Why Forgive? Jesus Gives the Answer
Jesus says:
“14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14–15 (ESV)
Forgiveness is not optional.
Forgiveness is obedience.
Forgiveness is freedom.
We ask God to forgive us constantly. So how can we refuse to extend forgiveness to others?
But it’s not just about obedience.
Unforgiveness chains you more than it chains the person who hurt you.
And I get it, some of you reading this have reasons not to forgive someone.
Real reasons. Deep wounds.
It took me years to forgive the people whose actions left me on the edge of ending my own life. But the longer I held on to the bitterness, the more stuck I felt spiritually, emotionally, mentally.
Forgiveness didn’t excuse what they did.
It didn’t erase the pain.
It didn’t make everything suddenly perfect.
What it did was release me.
It lifted the weight that kept me from moving forward with Christ.
The Modern Problem: A Self-Centered World
We’re living in a time where self-centeredness is disguised as “self-care.”
Narcissism is normalized.
Emotional immaturity is celebrated.
We defend our pride at the expense of our freedom.
But forgiveness requires humility.
Forgiveness requires admitting that you’ve been carrying a weight you can’t handle alone.
When I humbled myself and forgave the people who hurt me, something changed.
The wall between me and God crumbled.
My prayers felt clearer.
My heart felt lighter.
My spirit felt alive again.
Forgiveness rebuilt what bitterness destroyed.
Jesus Invites You to Rest
Jesus says:
“28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28–29 (ESV)
Do you want rest?
Then bring everything to Him, including the things you refuse to forgive, the people you can’t stand, and the memories you can’t revisit without pain.
Hand them over.
Watch what He does. Watch how He heals. Watch how He restores.
I’m living proof of it.
God literally saved my life. He transformed me into who I am today.
He can do the same for you.
But first, you must trust Him enough to let go.
Because true forgiveness doesn’t start with the offender, it starts with surrendering the weight to God.
Weekly Song Recommendation
Here’s a song for y’all to listen to!
I grew up hearing this on one of those old compilation CDs you’d see on TV (throwback, right?)
This week’s song is “Come Unto Me”. A perfect reminder of the rest Jesus offers.
Leave it to Him and you will learn what true rest feels like.
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